Saturday, February 16, 2013

W/S: Genitals!!!

Today's post is about all the different forms of genitals used for smexing, not necessarily reproduction, in supernatural/paranormal fiction!
Yey, an excuse to say PENIS!!!..cause i'm immature like that...(^_^)

KK, but seriously there a bunch of types of genitals in supernatural/paranormal fiction. The main two you'll see are inspired by how the sexes differ in humans: the penis and the lady penis..wait...no... i mean the vagina. See, i can remember this stuff, too.

Kay, So the vagina is the "receptive" organ of a female human and sadly there isn't a lot of variation found in fiction. I'd say this is probably because of the fact that on earth there isn't a lot of different types of vaginas to use as inspiration.

"My darling wife. Tonight i'm gonna give it to you good!!!"
 "Sorry honey. I've got a headache..plus my vagina looks like this so you'll never find my g-spot..sadface (T_T)"
 *Seriously Ducks have maze like vaginas with fake off shoots that go noooowhhheerrreee and just serve to confuse would be suitors. Look it up!*
 
"Don't look at us. Fish don't even have vaginas! ...why are we in this post anyways?"
 Also, pretty much anything having to do with a vagina can also be applied to an anus and often is, although i've never read an instance where an anus is paired with a clitoris, sooo... get on that... or not. Things like moving/textured walls, temperature, and self lubrication are the things most often seen in fiction for vaginas and anuses.

Then you run into the vaginas and/or anuses that have "added" protrusions, like teeth or tentacles!

*TENTACLES!!! Except in the center of these ones is a beaked mouth where the food goes in. That doesn't really work for lady business...nomnomnom*

Now, personally i feel that adding things like teeth or spines to a vagina or anus just serves to vilify female sex organs. VILIFY I SAY!!! It's often unnecessary to the plot even when the plot is porn. As far as tentacles go, I personally see them as a "combining of" female and male sexual organs in a way that isn't obvious and thus won't be pointed to with the word hermaphrodite screamed at it. 

Hermaphrodites are pretty common in supernatural/paranormal fiction from my experience. This is probably due to the advanced science and magic as well as the need for differences between human and paranormal species. In Japan there's even a genre exclusively tuned toward hermaphroditic characters called Futanari.
"Excuse me Miss. You appear to have a rather large..boner?"
*Note: You do not want to know how much Futanari porn i had to look through to find this ONE safe-ish picture. sooo much pornzzz...(>_<)*

On to the Penis!!! (hehe, see what i did there! lol)
 The penis, unlike the vagina and anus, is basicly a protrusion from the body, plus it already comes in two forms for human males (Circumcised and Uncircumcised). It's relatively easy to substitute basically anything in its place or add something to the existing testicle/penis combo (McDonald's...I don't know why i put that...I wrote the word combo and immediately thought of the McDonald's value menu. lol "Would you like extra balls with that shake?" ). Arms? Yes. Feet? Yep. Tentacles? Hells Ya! Ears? Ehhh, no. Maybe for lady business so she can hear you coming, tho. (Hehe, i did it again!) 

Many authors add to the number of testicles or penises a character has that a human might not have. 
"Why does Timmy have 4 balls, mommy?" 
"Radiation Billy. Radiation!"
You'll also run into instance of more than one penis per individual. While you might think having more than one penis is impossible, snakes and a lot of other reptiles actually have 2 phalluses called Hemipenes.
"I'm poisoness, and i've got two dicks!! Jelly much? MUAHAHAHA ...iwishicoulddance..."
Other animals which have penises often mimic-ed or substituted in supernatural/paranormal fiction are:
*Canine penises have a knot at the base that locks the partners together. It also looks like a tumor.*

*Horses have penises. They're ribbed for someones pleasure.*
*Aww cute kitty! So innocent. Secretly a feline's penis has barbs which extend toward it's body for easy penetration, and ripping out insides during removal. Owww."
*Dolphins penises are Not prehensile, a common misconception. Their ejaculations are also not forceful enough to do bodily harm, apparently. The more you know!*


Here are some other types of real penises, just because i feel like making you rinse your brain out with Clorox later.
*Elephant penises are shaped like the letter "S". This is not weird for Elephants it's only weird for you.*
 *Echidna's have 4 headed penises. They also lay eggs, because God loves them more than us*

That's pretty much everything having to do with genitals used for smexing in fiction.
Until next time. 

1 comment:

  1. This is a great post. All the information gathering..... Funny, Funny but where are the land snails???, lol. Really I really think lots and lots of people should see this, how about YouTube? Love this and all the work you put into it.

    ReplyDelete