Saturday, February 16, 2013

W/S: Genitals!!!

Today's post is about all the different forms of genitals used for smexing, not necessarily reproduction, in supernatural/paranormal fiction!
Yey, an excuse to say PENIS!!!..cause i'm immature like that...(^_^)

KK, but seriously there a bunch of types of genitals in supernatural/paranormal fiction. The main two you'll see are inspired by how the sexes differ in humans: the penis and the lady penis..wait...no... i mean the vagina. See, i can remember this stuff, too.

Kay, So the vagina is the "receptive" organ of a female human and sadly there isn't a lot of variation found in fiction. I'd say this is probably because of the fact that on earth there isn't a lot of different types of vaginas to use as inspiration.

"My darling wife. Tonight i'm gonna give it to you good!!!"
 "Sorry honey. I've got a headache..plus my vagina looks like this so you'll never find my g-spot..sadface (T_T)"
 *Seriously Ducks have maze like vaginas with fake off shoots that go noooowhhheerrreee and just serve to confuse would be suitors. Look it up!*
 
"Don't look at us. Fish don't even have vaginas! ...why are we in this post anyways?"
 Also, pretty much anything having to do with a vagina can also be applied to an anus and often is, although i've never read an instance where an anus is paired with a clitoris, sooo... get on that... or not. Things like moving/textured walls, temperature, and self lubrication are the things most often seen in fiction for vaginas and anuses.

Then you run into the vaginas and/or anuses that have "added" protrusions, like teeth or tentacles!

*TENTACLES!!! Except in the center of these ones is a beaked mouth where the food goes in. That doesn't really work for lady business...nomnomnom*

Now, personally i feel that adding things like teeth or spines to a vagina or anus just serves to vilify female sex organs. VILIFY I SAY!!! It's often unnecessary to the plot even when the plot is porn. As far as tentacles go, I personally see them as a "combining of" female and male sexual organs in a way that isn't obvious and thus won't be pointed to with the word hermaphrodite screamed at it. 

Hermaphrodites are pretty common in supernatural/paranormal fiction from my experience. This is probably due to the advanced science and magic as well as the need for differences between human and paranormal species. In Japan there's even a genre exclusively tuned toward hermaphroditic characters called Futanari.
"Excuse me Miss. You appear to have a rather large..boner?"
*Note: You do not want to know how much Futanari porn i had to look through to find this ONE safe-ish picture. sooo much pornzzz...(>_<)*

On to the Penis!!! (hehe, see what i did there! lol)
 The penis, unlike the vagina and anus, is basicly a protrusion from the body, plus it already comes in two forms for human males (Circumcised and Uncircumcised). It's relatively easy to substitute basically anything in its place or add something to the existing testicle/penis combo (McDonald's...I don't know why i put that...I wrote the word combo and immediately thought of the McDonald's value menu. lol "Would you like extra balls with that shake?" ). Arms? Yes. Feet? Yep. Tentacles? Hells Ya! Ears? Ehhh, no. Maybe for lady business so she can hear you coming, tho. (Hehe, i did it again!) 

Many authors add to the number of testicles or penises a character has that a human might not have. 
"Why does Timmy have 4 balls, mommy?" 
"Radiation Billy. Radiation!"
You'll also run into instance of more than one penis per individual. While you might think having more than one penis is impossible, snakes and a lot of other reptiles actually have 2 phalluses called Hemipenes.
"I'm poisoness, and i've got two dicks!! Jelly much? MUAHAHAHA ...iwishicoulddance..."
Other animals which have penises often mimic-ed or substituted in supernatural/paranormal fiction are:
*Canine penises have a knot at the base that locks the partners together. It also looks like a tumor.*

*Horses have penises. They're ribbed for someones pleasure.*
*Aww cute kitty! So innocent. Secretly a feline's penis has barbs which extend toward it's body for easy penetration, and ripping out insides during removal. Owww."
*Dolphins penises are Not prehensile, a common misconception. Their ejaculations are also not forceful enough to do bodily harm, apparently. The more you know!*


Here are some other types of real penises, just because i feel like making you rinse your brain out with Clorox later.
*Elephant penises are shaped like the letter "S". This is not weird for Elephants it's only weird for you.*
 *Echidna's have 4 headed penises. They also lay eggs, because God loves them more than us*

That's pretty much everything having to do with genitals used for smexing in fiction.
Until next time. 

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Ask TheLostSigns #1

Thanks for tuning in to the first installment of "Ask TheLostSigns", where your all knowing TheLostSigns commentator gives his real advice to some not-so-real people. (^_^)
In honor of Valentine's Day's recent passing today's letters are awesome. Does that make any sense? No, it does not, but TheLostSigns is fine with that!

Dear TheLostSigns,
I'm  writing you today, because i'm tired. I'm a long lived god who spends my days shooting my love, and hate, arrows at unsuspecting mortals in order to help them find true love. Meanwhile my own true love evades me. My last real relationship was ages ago and ended badly. She just couldn't handle all the restrictions placed on our relationship. It's not my fault i couldn't let her see what i look like! So there i am sneaking into her room under cover of darkness in the middle of the night and thinking everything is going great when one night i awaken to her WATCHING me sleep and dripping candle wax on me. I high tailed it outta there. Bitches be crazy! But now a couple thousand years have passed and i'm ready to put myself out there again. How do I start?

Sincerely,
Can't Unsee Peeping Immature Dim-wit

Hi, CUPID. Thank you for taking the time to write me with your question. The first step to finding an answer is asking the right questions! Now, before i get to your question i'd like to take a moment and address something in your letter that really concerned me. For your own sake, and that of the people you purport to help, please stop going around doping people. Date Rape is not as fun as it sounds. It is also illegal in pretty much every country on the planet to drug someone without their knowledge, even if it's for the sake of "true love". Also breaking and entering is a felony. Please don't sneak into peoples homes, even if they're your "girlfriend".
Now, on to your question! I can understand your trepidation at putting yourself out there, but you'll never meet someone sneaking around drugging people and having anonymous sex. It sounds, "vaguely", like you yourself are in the matchmaking business, but your approach at work is probably affecting your ability to find love in your personal life. Are you waiting around for someone to drug you without your knowledge? Cause that never ends well. I recommend changing your approach to love. It's not about drugs, it's about people and free will. You're a god, perhaps try using your powers to create safe spaces so people can get to know each other. Bringing together people from different walks of life who might not have otherwise met would be a good way to spend your time. I think you'll find that you might even be more open minded about love coming into your own life, and will probably have more opportunities to pursue a relationship yourself. Good Luck!


 Yo TheLostSigns,
What's hanging dude? My wife be all types of crazy. I mean I love her, man, but she be busting my balls something fierce. She found out about me and some other ho, and she sent FLIES to harass her all day and night. Who does that? Oh, and then this other time she put some SNAKES up in the crib of one of my kids. Snakes and Babies, for reals. She's hell'a jealous of all the hot chicks i be banging on the side. What am i supposed to do about the wifey drama?

Woot-woot!
Zoophilia's Uncool Except Sex

Hello, ZUES. You're a slut. Yes, you heard me. In fact, you're not only a slut you're the worst type of slut there is, a dishonest slut. Your letter tells me that you've been sleeping around on your wife, whom you profess to love while calling her crazy and expounding upon her multiple jealous, bordering homicidal, tendencies.

So you've got two options that i can see:
The first is divorce. Obviously she's not providing you with what you need sexually, and she appears to be dangerous to anyone you come into contact with. Eventually she may stop directing her feelings at the other parties and start directing them at you. So unless you wanna sleep with one eye open for the rest of your life get outta there. Or better yet, she may get fed up with your philandering ways and divorce you!
The second option is to sit down and discuss your situation with your wife. This can result in one of two events occurring. The one you'll be hoping for is being met with understanding and gratitude for revealing yourself to her. This will hopefully lead to redefining the terms of your marriage, perhaps even an open marriage where in you both are enabled to pursue other sexual partner with each others support, while maintaining a strong loving relationship with each other. Result two is that after discussing your feelings with your wife YOU make an effort to rehabilitate your whoring ways and remain faithful to your wife. You say you love her, maybe you should act like it. Either way, you need to make it work, or there will be divorce or murder in your future. Good Luck.


Until next weeks installment, keep on keeping on!

TheLostSigns encourages anyone and everyone to send in letters from your own characters or from your favorite characters. we'll be sure to answer them to the best of our ability. (^_^)

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

UPCOMING POSTS: Hey, all. ^_^

So, I haven't been posting things in a minute, but i have been working on stuff. (^_^)
I've got partial outlines completed for "City of Mirrors" and "A Heart of Stone", yey me!

I wanted to start showcasing my writing a bit, but I'm hell'a lazy, and i'd like to present a completed work..andchargepeople...no freebies!!! lol, but seriously all of the books i've started work on are parts of at minimum 4 book series. That's a lot of work to put in for someone like me who can barely get out of bed in the morning, plus any excuse i can find myself for not doing anything is what makes my world go round, so i think about things like eventual sales to give me a reason not to do things. sadface (>_<)

SOOOOO, what i'm gonna do is start a new blog series, tentitively tittled, "Ask TheLostSigns" where i answer the questions of fictious characters and give them my own brand of real life advise. It's gonna be a hot mess.

I'll also be posting another "Writing Supernaturals" in the next few days. I hope it's a good one since i'll be writing about a subject that makes me akward in real life. See random euphimisms in the post.

While i'm trying to do these on a weekly basis I'm gonna figure out a series of "free fiction" i can write for my blog. Hope fully it'll be something i can turn into a series of ongoing oneshot fic-bits that won't neccesarily be about characters you'd like to see in a full book. I.e. you'll be satisfied with a bit of story that has a biggining, middle, and end.

Wish me luck! ^_^

Friday, February 8, 2013

"The Lost Signs interviews author Katica Locke!!!"

Hello, everybody. Guess what? One of my favorite authors agreed to do an interview for my blog! Yey me!!

Now a bit of backstory for those of you who might not know her work. First off, she's AWESOME!! No really, she is! ^_^ Katica Locke is the author of the books "Broken Wings", "Breach", and "Mage Bound". As well as the author of numerous other books, short stories, and novellas. To find out more information on purchasing or to receive updates on Ms. Locke's works I suggest you visit Ms. Locke's website: http://katicalocke.wordpress.com . There you can also find links to her facebook, tumblr, twitter, and smashwords. The website also includes her own blog and numerous "free reads" all of which are amazing. I encourage everyone to go out and buy and read Ms. Locke's work! DOOOO IIITTTT!!! ^_^






Okay so I got a little side tracked there... (>_>)
Sooo, let's get interviewing!


The Lost Signs: I'd like to start by saying thank you, thank you, thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to do this interview and welcome you to my blog. Also fangirl squee... *SQUUUEEEEE*

Katica Locke: Thank you so much for such a warm and enthusiastic welcome! I'm thrilled to be here.

TLS: Now Ms. Locke. Despite what some would consider "complications" on the business side of getting your work out to the people, you have a decidedly loyal fan base. Is there anything you'd like to say to, or about your fans that you may not have gotten the chance to say in the past?

KL: To all my fans, Thank You!! I try to say it as often as I can, because I know that without their love and support, I would not have the same drive to write these stories that I do. I've always been a writer, from the age of ten, but before I discovered that I could share my work online with other people, I rarely finished a story. I didn't feel the need to, because I already knew how it would end. Now, I have fans who want to know how the story ends, and I want to tell them. So again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. <3

TLS: Moving on to your works. The fantasy genre often includes the idea of True Love as being a form of magical, physical, or spiritual "whammy" that characters fall under or are compelled by. I've noticed in your works you tend to avoid this form of True Love instead portraying the truest love as one which is based on developing the relationships between your characters in very real and often seemingly small ways over time. In fact, in your book "Broken Wings" you deconstruct this trope in two ways, the first is comparing an insidious magical love with a love that grows naturally over time. The second is by showing, how, in the case of Soldias sidhe, instant forced attraction is actually very disturbing to those viewing it or feeling it. Was this intentionally done on your part?

KL: I wouldn't say that it was intentionally done. Not in the sense of sitting down with the intent to write a story that rails against True Love tropes. I just write what I feel. I believe that True Love is magic. Mages who can truly love can cast the most powerful spells. Love restores a damaged soul. Love can turn a man into a dragon. Love works miracles. Love is very important in my stories, because it is so hard to attain, and so hard to keep. That's all I ever really try to show in my stories, anything else is just me getting lucky.

TLS: Also, while many of your works contain fantasy elements they also contain science fiction elements, and a lot of your worlds have similar rules for how forces (physics and magic) work. I was wondering if your works all take place in the same "universe"?

KL: Yes, they do. Most of them take place on different planets, sometimes centuries apart, but it's all the same universe. Most of my stories have inside jokes or brief mentions of other worlds or characters in them. For example, in "Broken Wings", Jak mentions his great-great-uncle who owns a magic shop - who happens to be Lord Sactaren from "Magebound". In "Breach", Roan's brother shows up pretending to be a Detective Aris Kalavon - who is actually the detective who helped Julian from my Suburban Fantasy series.

This is a copy of the original cover for "Mage Bound" by Katica Locke...

...and here the new version of the cover! ^_^
Click here! Order a copy of "Mage Bound" by Katica Locke today.
 
TLS: In a few of your books you've made references to a galactic/universal government which mandates some worlds such as in "Breach" where some forms of transportation are outlawed on the planet the book takes place on because of the type of fuel they use, or in "Broken Wings" where Jak reveals to the reader that Earth is a restricted planet. Can you expand a bit on this governmental body? What it is or how it works compared to the governments of earth in real life?

KL: The governmental body that rules over all inhabited planets in the galaxy is called the Great Council and is a bit like the United Nations. Every sentient species is entitled to have a representative sit on the Council. Together they decide on laws and regulations. One such regulation is touched on in "Breach", where the burning of fossil fuels and major industrialization is restricted. The Council places technology restrictions on different planets, to keep them at different stages of growth, so that people can choose if they want to live in a big, futuristic city like Siva Delta on the planet Nethmalon, or if they'd rather live a quiet, pastoral life on Eshaedra. There are worlds at every level of technology, from primitive stone tools to advancements far beyond that of Earth. As a writer, this allows me to write in any setting while still maintaining the consistency of the universe that I built.


TLS: In your article about vampires (http://katicalocke.wordpress.com/vampires/) you mention that you chose not to include the weakness to religious icons in their mythology because "it would seem strange for a vampire who had never heard of Christianity to be repelled by crosses and holy water.". However, religion does appear to exist in your universe. So my question would be considering the sci-fi nature of your work, which would place religion as a form of communal faith, in comparison to the fantasy nature of your works, which would place religion as a communal faith based on the reality of their existence( i.e. the gods really do or did exist), do the gods mentioned in your works exist within your universe and if so what are they doing?

KL: Good question. Religion isn't really something that I've delved very deeply into in my stories. I've mainly used them as worldbuilding scenery, because all fantasy universes have to have their own gods, right? The answer is yes, some of them do exist. Others are purely mythological figures that never existed. The human gods and goddesses do exist and are busy watching over a myriad of worlds -- anywhere the humans inhabit -- which is why they rarely get involved in human affairs. The goddess of the Werefolk, the Great Spirit, definitely exists and actually shows up in one of my books. I haven't decided if the faerie goddess, Elias, really exists. The gryphlian gods and goddesses are mythological, based on individuals that really lived long ago. Those are the only four widespread belief systems that I have worked out.

TLS: Switching from gods to science, how much do you feel real life science comes into play when creating your worlds and the species that inhabit them? Is it more an issue with certain creations/characters than it is with others (i.e. the dracs inability to mix genetically with other species[broken wings] versus the goblins being able to mix with fae [slave to the crown])?

KL: I try to use real life science in my stories whenever possible. I feel it lends realism to the fantastical and helps the reader suspend their disbelief. I did a unicorn birthing scene in one of my books, and I researched horse pregnancy and complications in order to make it as realistic as possible. Often, real science will give me ideas for stories, like the two races of gryphons, which evolved from golden gryphons into black and white due to leucisim and melanism and selective breeding. The science becomes more of an issue when dealing with non-human characters. The more alien the character, the better I have to understand them, because everything about them must be described to the reader.

TLS: Understanding characters is important from a writers perspective, i've noticed. As a reader I've also noticed that you have what appears to be an exceedingly strong grasp of your characters which makes for incredibly engaging reading. Relationships are relationships, but as a woman how do you approach the thoughts, feelings, and physicality behind your male characters? Is it observational extrapolation, sympathy (putting yourself in their shoes), research, etc.?

KL: Hmm, that’s an interesting question. I’m not sure there’s a simple answer, either. I suppose it’s a combination of observation, sympathy, and research, plus a lot of imagination. Writing romantic relationships for me goes beyond just being a woman writing about men. I don’t have much experience in those kind of relationships at all (probably TMI, lol), so it’s all about making it up and hoping I get it right. I read a lot, so I’m able to use what I read to allow me to put myself into my characters’ minds, and I do feel what they’re feeling. As far as specifically being a woman writing about men, I write about a lot of different kinds of people, vampires and dragons and faeries, and they’re all unique in their own way, just like real people are all different. I try to avoid the common stereotypes that women have regarding men, because I regard men as just another type of people, and they’re all different, and however I write them, as long as I give them reasonable actions and motivations and feelings, hopefully they’ll ring true with my readers.

TLS: Well said. As a member of the LGBTQ community I should chide myself for asking such a sexist question. (>_<) Speaking of the LGBTQ community, your books contain all sorts of people, in all sorts of relationships, with all sorts of orientations. One such character, rarely seen as not a running joke in other authors works, would be Darike. Would you mind sharing a bit about this character and his place in fey society? Namely, given the way Izeri acts in "Broken Wings" and "Moonlight" fae appear to have different modes of dress for males and females, leading me to discount the idea that Darike is simply "a fae, who like all fae believe clothes to be clothes" since that does not appear to be the case given Izeri's reaction to Darike's presence. Given Darike's form of dress and relationship with Zaiden, i wonder if he considers himself to be transgendered or a transvestite/cross dresser since the two are quite different and how this relates to his place in fey society? Also are any of these things related to his glamour, and what would his glamour happen to be?

KL: Oh, that's another interesting question. Darike came into being on the spur of the moment, just a whim, really. I didn't have any idea what I would do with him, I just wanted some more variety at the university. While his wardrobe choices are unusual for his species and he does get some grief for it, he is certainly not comic relief, or like you said, a running joke. He identifies as male, is physically male, and enjoys being male, he just likes wearing female clothing, partly because of the attention it gets him (he has really great legs ^_^), but also because it just feels good to him. He likes the way he looks. It does not, as far I know, have anything to do with his glamour. He is a brionaid fey - a dream faerie. His glamour allows him to enter the dreams of a sleeping person and manipulate the dreams. Make him mad and he'll literally give you nightmares.

TLS: Speaking of glamour, your work uses a lot of color. In fact quite a few of your systems use color as a sort of identifier. What's that all about?

KL: Lol, I like colors! I tried to be an artist, but I can't draw or paint to save my life, so I use words to paint my pictures instead. I like color because it's almost universal. Unless someone is blind, they know what red, or blue, or green looks like. It makes it easier for me to create my worlds in my readers' imaginations. Colors also carry their own subliminal meanings. Red can mean stop, danger, hot, anger, or love. Blue can be sad, cold, or calm. It's kind of a shortcut for putting ideas into the readers' minds without actually having to say it.

TLS: Last question I promise! Characters in your works have a very subtle way of speaking. So going completely off track, I'd like to ask if, with a last name like Locke, you've had a lot of people make Key innuendos or jokes about you, and if so has it lost all sense of originality, lol? (^_^)

KL: Actually, unless they're doing it behind my back, I can't say I've ever had anyone make a Key joke about me. I must be doing something wrong. XD

TLS: Sorry that took so long, and thank you so much once more for stopping by and doing an interview with me. Hopefully your fans out there will enjoy hearing these questions answered and other interviewers or reviewers will have a bit more information to add to their write ups. Would you like to say anything else to the readers?

KL: Anytime! That was wonderful. I'd just like to say thank you for being such a gracious host. I'd also like to thank the readers, and I hope I wasn't too boring, lol!

TLS: Until next time, ya'll!! (^_^)



Katica Locke can be found on her website, http://katicalocke.wordpress.com.
GO CHECK IT OUT!!!
...
AND BUY STUFF!!!!
I encourage everyone to support your favorite authors if you can!

Update 9/17/2014: Added the new version of the cover for "Mage Bound" and changed purchasing link from Amazon to Smashwords.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

New video on youtube..

So I did a new video for my youtube. This one is a cover of "Love Ballad" by George Benson. That song is awesome. This is the LTD version. Gotta give props for they're arrangement.



I actually think i first heard the song and wanted to do it the other day off just a snippet done by Lallah Hathaway in this video:
So awesome.

Coming Soon: Katica Locke interview, hopefully! ^_^

Author Katica Locke has agreed to possibly let me interview her for my blog. I just sent the questions to her, and hopefully she'll like them and answer them and send it back with her okay for posting.

Here is Ms. Locke's website: katicalocke.wordpress.com

Her work is amazing so i recommend you check it out. ^_^

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Update: City Of Mirrors -A Gate's Crossing Novel-

Worked on the book a bit this morning and finished the prologue. gah,
 for those of you who don't know i began writing the story down on my computer on April 8th 2012. And as of today the word count is around 2100 words and i have completed the prologue and am part way through the first chapter. Don't ask me how far because i'm having organizational issues.

Anywasy that about it for now. IF i do a bit of editing i'll see about sending the prologue around to interested parties.

Smooches.