Short "story" i wrote for a friend while hopped up on caffine. lol

"We have come to capture you, small eared woman, for you are renown throughout the quadrant for your expertise in umox" said the small large eared alien with the pointy teeth.
"You'll never take me alive, little man!" Ilana defiantly yelled, batting away the hand that reached for her bosom which heaved in fear. Backing away from the alien she soon found herself pressed into a corner with no escape in sight.
"Haha! I have you trapped. You will never escape my clutches." the alien said menacingly.
"That's what you think!" Ilana replied, her hand flashing out in a lightning fast strike which ended with the man's overly large and sensitive ears in her grasp.
"Oh, no! Not the ear! My one weakness." pleaded the alien his face clouding over with a look unrecognizable to Ilana's human knowledge. "Ah! now squeeze the cartilage!!"
"What?" Ilana said in confusion.
"Roll the cartilage between your fingers! YEEEAAHHH!! Like that, nice and easy."
"Ummm...."
"Now, harder. Put your back into it. Pull the lobe!!"
"This is making me uncomfortable..."
"No! No! Come on. Just stick your finger in the hole and swirl it around a bit."
"Yeah, no. This is weird."
"Just the tip? I promise you won't even notice."
"I think i'd notice the tip of my finger in some aliens horny little ear."
"Awww, you drive a hard bargain puny eared one. Respect that. I will leave you in peace...this time!"
~The End~