Ask TheLostSigns #7

This weeks "Ask TheLostSigns" comes to you courtesy of the books i read this week. anna know what to do if your boss tries to get you to sign a sex contract? what about if your boyfriend has is really a shapeshifting "Aliens" monster who only looks human some of the time? Find out in this week post!

Dear TheLostSigns,
I'm really hard up. I just finished highschool, and live with my mother. I've decided to find a job and move out but the only employer to call me in for an interview is a 40-something Englishman who wants me to be a live in nude housemaid and sexual submissive. The pays great, but i'm not sure if it's the right position for me. 
What do you think?
Getting Really Anxious, Yeah

Oh GRAY, Child. I'm not one to judge (that's a lie. I totally judge.), but i don't think letting some dude twice your age use you as a sextoy WHILE YOU ALSO CLEAN HIS HOUSE is a good idea. Not only because of the obvious problems relating to power distribution between yourself and this person, but also because it might cause long term damage to your self-esteem.
Some people find that they enjoy a lifestyle of servitude that include sexual servitude, but it sounds like your being only considering this due to the lack of employment options. That should tell you it isn't for you.
Also, while i'm not comppletely up to date on what constitues prostitution, this sounds a hell of a lot like it. Are you willing to be a prostitute? Are you aware of the legality of prositution in the place where you live?
This doesn't sound safe in the slightest and i'd recommend refusing to participate in further interactions with this employer as well as reporting this to the Department of Labor in your area.
DON"T DO IT, AND REPORT THAT SHIT.
You'll be doing your community a favor.
Good Luck!

Yo TheLostSigns,
I got sent to kill this alien , but we ended up having crazy hot sex and now he's obsessed with me. He says that he's only half alien, and that he and i are biologically bonded. I agree that we're bonded, but i'm afraid, because the alien half he's descended from is known to be horrifically ugly, eat people's organs, and lay eggs in people. What should i do?
Worrying Takes Feelings

Hey WTF,
You are soooooo screwed. You could always just kill the guy like you were supposed to, right? But if you're seriously intent on making this work I reccomend fleeing at high speeds and holing yourself up somewhere safe.Once you've done that I suggest educating yourself on these aliens, from reputable sources ya hear, and then figuring out what you want to do after considering the risk of alien babies eating their way out of your chest.
You could also trying having faith in this guy, and trusting him not to well eat your organs, but thats something you have to decide for yourself.
Good Luck!
(cause you're as good as dead anyways)

Tune in next week for more Ask TheLostSigns. Only 3 more to go and then TheLostSigns might shelve this series for a while. Smooches.