Ask TheLostSigns #4

This week we've got a bet to settle. A FASHION BET!!! Let go to it! Rating system is 1-10, where 10 is the best and 1 means you're not neked.

Hey TheLostSigns,
Me and my pals... well, my arch nemesis, my ex-girlfriend, and some girl without a soul have decided to form a revolution. I thought we could use some new duds so i had these made. I think they're awesome so I bet those guys over at *name withheld for legal reasons* that our costumes were way better then theirs. What do you think?
Sorry Couldn't Originally Talk Trash 

 Well, SCOTT the picture you sent me has 6 people in it so it's hard to figure out who the 4 you mentioned are, thankfully you sent me a couple extras so I'm gonna give you my honest opinion.

 

So this is your new outfit? Dahhhling, you look like the movie Tron threw up on you. Seriously, you're a penis. An angry fucked up looking penis, possibly with some sort of developmental disorder. It's not supposed to be shaped like an "X". You need to call your people and get a refund. 

Rating: 3 outta 10, because at least you kinda tried.

This must be the Arch Nemesis. I like how he's going for the anonymous Lawrence of Arabia look. Although the white must get hell's dirty... I'm gonna say this is a win!

Rating: 8 outta 10, cause the gloves darling, the gloves. Just say no.

 Now we come to the ladies, the other is kinda young looking so i'm gonna say this smirky looking lady is your ex-girlfriend. I get what she was going for, but honey, too much cleavage. That thing is cut down to your belly button. You need to raise that a good 6 inches, and the we can talk. Also loose the gloves. Do you have man hands or something you gotta cover them up? You're not going to a show, so loose the Opera gloves. Maybe try some fingerless wrist length gloves next time kay?
Rating: 5 outta 10, cause it's just very sloppy, luv. Do better!

Now this girl may not have a soul, but she knows how to work that shit. This is what I'm talking about. She's basically wearing some cheap ass short-shorts, but she got them boots and them gloves and them arm bands and that KILLER JACKET. It's got no sleeve on one side, and the other has freakin' spikes!!! You shoulda gone to her for some fashion advice.
 Rating: 10 outta 10. Gurl you KIL'T it.

Let's add em up that give you 26 outta 40.


TheLostSigns,
We got roped into this bet so we're going balls out, holla! We gonna keep it fair though, and only send over 4 of our guys. Check us out!
Just Like Amigos

Okay, JLA. Throw em at me!

 Kay, so I'm liking the blue and red and yellow., but what's up with the belt? Your pants are like skin tight. That's a little to much accessorizing. I like the little details on the hands, but loose the cape it's so "I'm a fancy superhero".
Rating: 7 outta 10, cause i don't hate it, but it's a bit too much. lol

 Oh, looks like we've got a furry. Senior Murcielago, again with the cape? Just no. I do like the gloves, tho. Also the cowl thing...it's just so theme park of the damned, you know, Do better next time.
Rating: 4 outta 10, seriously you look cheap. And not like hooker cheap, but like i made my own Halloween costume cheap. DISCOUNT!!!

 

Hmm, gold and green with sequins and a Mandarin collar. Love it. The belt breaks things up and the gloves are a nice touch, although i'd think you'd knock things over, as loose as they seem to be around your forearms. Very nice indeed.

Rating 9 outta 10, cause perfect-o, but fix the gloves please.

Ladies last, hmmm? well I'm liking the silver cuffs, that works pretty well. The silver is washing you out quite a bit tho. Also your, what appear to be, granny pants have stars on them...that's kinda wierd since i'm getting an overall American Flag vibe off of you. I can understand patriotic, but did you only have the material from ONE flag, cause that's a lotta skin. Must get cold fighting crime or whatever it is you do...?
Rating: 3 outta 10, cause I'm just not seeing it. You look a hot mess, gurl.

That's 23 outta 40 for you JLA.

To tally our votes: we've got SCOTT and his group with 26 and JLA with 23. Sorry JLA you're gonna have to wow me a bit more, instead of looking so half price. 

That's all for this week!

SMOOCHES!

Ohh refuges and rivals! (^_^)

Figured out what I'm gonna do with the southern continent on Omoria and how i'm gonna work in a few more god stories. ^_^

Will have more backstory and info on Terra, another alternate reality of earth like Omoria, and it's people who know live on the southern continent, maybe we call it "New Terra?" as it comes outta my brain. Hope you're excited cause i am. ^_^

^_^

Another 826 words…

I just wrote another 826 word for my Free Fiction Tuesdays post, but I’m still not done with the scene. >_< Hopefully it won’t go over a 1500 words cause that’d be to long i think and i’d have to break up the posting again.

^_^
That brings the unedited word total tooooooo:

2337

That's not that much I know but i'm working on it one scene at a time ^_^

Video blogging? O_o?

So i've been thinking of getting a webcam so i could live blog some stuff.

I mean i could do a video blog of my Writing Supenaturals series, but i thought it might be fun to do a live stream of me writing my Ask TheLostSigns or Free Fiction series.

I don't know that people would be super insterested in that, but it might be fun to get a group of authors together and do a writing workshop/group thing together if were working on some of the same topics like relationships or supernaturals in our stories.

Could be fun...

Anyways I'll post more on this as the situation warrants.

Smooches!

Free Fiction Tuesdays: Seeds of Prophecy (Part 2)

This weeks installment is a bit long, so i decided to only post the first part of it. Hopefully next week will see the end of this scene, but since it's a very important scene as far as the setting is concerned it's very long. Long enough in fact that i've decided that last weeks installment will be added to this scene in it's entirety to make most of chapter one. Hope you like it and feedback will be appreciated. Thanks to the inspirations.

~*~

The Headmistress was a dark skinned petite woman who was most likely approaching the end of her middle years, that much was obvious to Tobias by the way streaks of graying hair intermixed themselves with what, he was sure, were once entirely raven tresses. Adding that information to the worldly picture of her he had begun building in his mind as he’d observed the artifacts in her waiting room he preceded cautiously observing the woman where she sat across from him and his sister reading what appeared to be their file. She was, in fact, practically dwarfed by the large wooden desk that sat between her and whoever was seated awaiting her attention.

Hoping to move along this meeting, Tobias softly cleared his throat before speaking softly.

“Good morning, Headmistress.”

If the woman heard his words she gave no indication, continuing to peruse the papers she held in her hands and making no motion to return his greeting,

‘Uhhh’ was Tobias’s only thought as the silence continued to build in the large room. Casting a quick glance at his sister he received a look that said she had about as much of an idea how to proceed in the situation as he did.

“You are the Lanae siblings, correct?”

It took a moment for Tobias to realize the speaker of the sharp inquiry was the previously silent woman across from him. Surprised by the abruptness of her speech Phiobe answered before he could figure out what she had actually said.

“Yes, Headmistress.”

“It says here you are from Tsur. You are the first of that place to attend this academy. If what I’ve read in the papers sent for your enrollment is any indication I believe it will be a privilege to help shape your education, but I get ahead of myself. Do you know why you are here, child?”

Since the question didn’t seem to be directed at either one of them, Tobias wasn’t sure who should answer. Trading another quick look with his sister he returned his attention to the Headmistress only to find himself looking at the strangest eyes he’d ever seen in his seventeen years.

That the woman was Susmarian had been obvious considering her skin, which was the color of freshly turned earth, and during their travels from Tsur, Tobias and Phiobe had been prepared as much as possible for what they could expect of the world outside their small island with its closed borders.

The people of Susmar, with its snow covered fields and soaring mountains, often possessed dark skin.  Tobias and Phiobe’s instructors had merely spoken of this inherent attribute as they would have any other characteristic of a group of peoples. What they hadn’t pressed during their tutoring sessions was that typical Susmarians had both dark skin and pale eyes. Intrigued by a seemingly strange feature compared to a Tsuran’s tanned complexion and earth toned eyes he had further inquired of the sailors they had traveled with and been regaled by their stories.

The sailors had spoken of the goddess Kytia Luna, the Spirit of Ice, and how after separating her lands from the continent which housed Neder, Rymal, and Worshan, creating the Sea of Sorrows, she who was the closest to Order of his many children had grown weary of the world and it’s workings and retreated to her frozen castle deep in the heart of Susmar. Many years later a man with skin like the night and eyes like the moon had appeared at her door and through perseverance he had thawed her heart. Together they had spent many years in happiness welcoming many children into their lives, and to each of those children Kytia Luna had given the most beautiful eyes in the world, from the softest of lavenders to the hardest amethyst. Those children would become the first Susmarians, the stars of the north, and it was said that only the decedents with those eyes could rule Susmar even to this day, though many Susmarians had eyes ranging from the palest blue to the harshest grey.

Even knowing to expect that the Headmistress’s eyes would be different from the Tsurans he had been raised around or even the sailors from mixed races that he’d traveled with, what Tobias hadn’t expected was that the Headmistress’s eyes wouldn’t be one stationary shade.

Her eyes were like the richest of twilights, a purple so deep it was like looking at the moon flowers that grew high atop the ancient volcano that had formed Tsur. That in itself would have been the strangest thing Tobias had ever seen, if it hadn’t been for the lightening and darkening shades of lavender that seemed to drift across the woman’s iris like clouds across an alien sky.

Unable to pull his gaze away, Tobias found himself answering the woman’s question without the need for further prompting.

“We’re here because The Universal Academy of Magical Arts is the most prestigious school on Omoria. Word of the quality of its instructors has reached even our island home. Its graduates are all well educated in their crafts, and among its foreign students reside the sons and daughters of the nobility as well as the children of the most esteemed merchants, artisans, and scholars. “

Snapping his mouth shut on the last, Tobias threw a startled look at his sister before resting his eyes firmly on his hands, which lie gripping his thighs.

‘Well that was awkward…’

(to be continued...)

The tale of Kytia Luna and her thawing will be one of the first stories I tackle after i stop running this book for Free fiction Tuesdays and start posting companion tales. ^_^
PS- the symbol  ~*~  does not have any special meaning it's simply a place holder between scenes. 

W/S:What make's a Lady?

Today, I'd like to discuss the triangle of lady business that fiction writers base female characters on.

The first is the Maiden-Mother-Crone triumvirate. But what does that really mean?
There are a lot of characteristics that these three types of females exemplify, so for this post they aren't specific enough. The three characteristics we want are:

1)Attractive (Youth is considered an attractive quality. woman of middle age are considered unattractive)
2)Stupid (level of intelligence when compared to a man. Women of equal or higher intelligence aren't stupid)
3)Evil (Evil is measured in 2 ways. 1)Destructiveness, and 2) ability to do things that aren't in a males best interest.)

Let's take our first example:

 "Hi there! In classical fiction I get eaten by a witch in chapter three. Maybe i should learn how to remember my way home or that you shouldn't eat houses made of food that you stumble upon in the woods?"

The above young lady is pretty, and well, probably stupid, which means that she cannot be evil. She's more likely to be kidnapped, used as unicorn bait, or when she's older be found dead in the forest and have her corpse molested by a wandering prince she's never met before who will smooch her decaying flesh back to life. Princes love them some stupid hotties.

 

 "She's sexy and she knows it!" 

*Adriana Lima did not sign off on this post*

Now, the next type of female is attractive and intelligent which means she is EVIL! She's gonna seduce your inheritance right outta your rich daddies man parts. She learned things you couldn't even imagine while travelling in the far east!!  She's your typical seductress. Why, you ask? Because men don't want a woman who's smarter than they are cause that would immasculate them and put the power in the woman's hands. Thus any woman smarter than you who you want to bone is evil and should be slain.

 

*Diane Keaton is smiling in this picture*

*..she is also confused*

Now we come to the unattractive ladies.

They're either stupid and super evil. Also known as Harpies, Furies, Sirens, and Meanids. Here's evil translates to destructive potential. Pretty ladies don't destroy property.

Or intelligent and not evil. I like to call that "Grandma Syndrome".

Until next week!

Ask TheLostSigns #3

This weeks "Ask TheLostSigns" is brought to you by what some would say is the greatest love story ever told. I on the other hand see a bunch of nut jobs. You be the judge. (^_^)

Dearest TheLostSigns,
I am but a fair damsel shorn from my love's affection by the hatred of our two families. I fear we shall never be as one for alas I am only just shy of my fourteenth year and lacking in the power to course mine own destiny. Against the words of my father I have plotted with my dearest nurse and come upon a solution most plain. I shall ingest a tonic which will still my heart so as to mimic death, and then whilst my family lies in mourning i shall abscond with my dearest love and we shall be awayed to live out our marriage without subterfuge. Do you think i shall succeed in my endevor?
I ask that you make haste in your reply for The Prince has banished my husband and my father would unknowingly have me wed a count in disregard of my sacred vow to my estranged husband.
God speed,
Just Unlucky Like I'd Engender Tragedy 

Seriously JULIET, take a chill pill. Your thirteen. Thirteen is not old enough to have a secret husband and fake your own death to avoid dealing with your problems. And yes, being secretly married is YOUR problem. You caused this, whether you want to blame it on a hostile atmosphere in your home life or not. Maybe before faking your own death using some half assed concoction, you should tell your parents you're married, and not just play married like a normal little person (which i assume is what they call children whereever you got that hooky accent from), but married for real-reals with a priest and church and the whole shebang-bang. Then maybe you can get some help. Like maybe a nunnery or something, cause seriously you're a hot mess of hormones getting your ass in trouble like that. Once you're marriage comes to light it'll probably be annuled and then you can go get you an education. Then if you wanna hook back up with your "dearest love" do it. As. An. ADULT. Hopefully an informed one. That's all i got for you.
Oh Guurl,
TheLostSigns



Hark TheLostSigns,
I have been the recipient of the worst of news. My dearest lady-wife has committed suicide. In my grief i have purchased a drought of poison from the local apothecary and journey now in secret to the mausoleum where she lies entombed though it is surely death for me should i be caught by the authorities for i have been banished by The Prince for avenging my friend, his cousins, death in a duel with my lady-wife's cousin. Was i wrong to pursue my love? For i fear if i had not so zealously pursued my lady wife we would not have eloped, then i would not have felt bound by honor to decline the duel with my then lady-wife's cousin which lead to both my friends death and my banishment. Now my poor lady-wife is dead at the tender age of thirteen and i am alone in the world.
Pleading for thine wisdom,
Really Only Men Ever Orgasm

ROMEO, ROMEO, Why art thou such a pedophile, ROMEO? You hear that? That's the police coming to get your nasty ass. Skeezing on a thirteen year old girl. Sigh (>_<)
So to answer your question, because you couldn't keep it in your pants and wait until this girl was a reasonable age, YOU did inadvertently cause the death of your friend and "lady-wife"(PS- How creepy is it that you call her that? Ewww.). What you need to do is turn yourself in and take your punishment like a man. You're old enough to marry some kid? You're old enough to go to prison. I hear they're real nice to guys like you there. You know, if they just don't stone you or burn you at the stake first.
Laterz.
TheLostSigns